“My Dearest Raistlin,

How I wish I could say to you a Happy 1 week Birthday with smiles, hugs and kisses today. But instead, we will see, touch and hold you for the last time before they take you away for your cremation. I really don’t want to say good bye for the last time, but I know that you shall forever be a part of our lives. We hope you have the happiest 1 week birthday in heaven!”

Kirk and I, along with our friends, Terri and Bonnie went to the funeral home for our last viewing of Raistlin. They put him in a little white casket, still too big for him, but he looked so peaceful and comfortable in it that I didn’t want to pick him up, even though they said it’s okay to pick him up and hold him.

I was at loss of words, I couldn’t say anything but have my tears running. I opened up the blanket that covered him and saw all the bruises from the needles and I felt so remorse – I hated myself for being so arrogant trying to save him, even though in the end it only caused him pain being poked with needles and tubes. I was afraid of touching him, thinking that it will disintegrate him faster. But in the end, I couldn’t hold it any longer that I need to give him a kiss one last time before I said good bye for good.

Good bye Raistlin! We’ll see each other again when our time arrives.