March has turned into April.
Winter has gone and Spring has arrived.
Flowers have started to bloom and the grass has turned green.
Time moves on…

How I wish my life is that simple. I really wish I could face the world and be 100% normal again. But life is never simple. Life never always goes the way I want it to be. Every day, I’m surrounded by pregnancy updates on Facebook, pregnancy banner ads on the internet, even movies I rented or saw, magically there’s always a pregnant lady in it, even though the movie is not about a pregnant character. It’s very hard looking at these and not thinking why I can’t be like them or that should’ve been me.

Last night, because I didn’t feel like changing the channel, I stumbled on a show, “Parenthood” on NBC. I was fine until I saw the scene where Julia explained to her sister that she has intrauterine scar that makes it almost impossible for her to conceive. It’s like someone cut open my incision and put salt on it. I just burst into tears, knowing that I also have that scar from the emergency c-section and realizing that I may hear that word from my doctor when we’re trying again. Is this the sign from God that I have lost all hope to conceive and give birth, that we will never be able to raise a family?