May 2011 shall be the mark of the new beginning for us. I got a new job, we sold our house and moved into a new one. The year 2011 started with many misfortunes for us to the point that I hit rock bottom that I had to scream to God, begging him to end it because I couldn’t take it anymore.

I only experienced one breakdown during Mother’s Day. That day upset me because I couldn’t celebrate it. I do want people to wish me a happy mother’s day, but at the same time I don’t feel like I deserve it. I don’t feel like I am a mother yet because my first and dearest son is not with me. I was so jealous with all the new moms who celebrated the day with their newborns. I avoided Facebook that day because I didn’t want to read all the “Happy Mother’s Day” wishes and what they got from their kids/husbands. I was grateful because our new house is in the mountain and both Kirk and I could find solitude that day.

Yes, our new house. We love this house so much! Surrounded by evergreen forest and facing a full view of a mountain peak really gives us peace. I can’t wait to go to the tree farm and pick up a tree for Raistlin so he can be rooted at this house just like us. This new house gives us new hope and allow us to be able to face the future, physically and emotionally.

My hope is that this is a sign of dark clouds being shifted from our lives, revealing the beautiful blue sky with nothing but God’s blessings. Amen.