Cremation Preparation

Today I woke up at 3 AM with excruciating pain because I fell asleep and forgot to take my pain medication. And to put the cherry on top, Bilbo, our cat knocked off the medicine bottle so I had no choice but to grind my teeth and walk slowly to the bathroom to take Kirk’s pain medication (we both have the same pain med prescription).

As I went back to my bed and waiting for the medication to work, I felt the belly muscle twitching, at the same location where Raistlin loved to send his kicks, jabs and squirm. I cried as I realized how I missed those kicks, jabs and him reflexing his little body. I missed him so much and as I turn to my right side, I saw my TV tray and I thought it should be his bassinet with him inside. I cried to God and asked him why he would let this happen and tried to find the reason and all of the sudden my fear kicked in; realizing that I will be turning 39 and we’re still waiting for Kirk’s doctor to confirm that they didn’t damage the nerves that allow him to ejaculate. I cried and begged for His mercy to give us another chance until I fell asleep.

Later that day Kirk and I went to the funeral home for Raistlin’s cremation and registered his information for his death certificate.

We decided we won’t have a service for Raistlin, but we will scatter his ashes to our new home (where ever it’ll be) and plant a tree dedicated for him. Kirk thinks an oak tree will be a perfect tree for him. That way he will be rooted where his family is and be with us forever.